i just have to say that i love being able to lay in my babies arms at night. its the greatest feeling ever. i feel so comfortable with him n when im laying in his arms at night i just feel like there is nothing that can harm me... no actions or words. all that i care about n focus on is that im in the arms of a guy who i love n loves me.

well the whole thing with my family is no better at all. so im gonna be at mikes for a little bit but i dont know how long his mom is gonna want me there. she says she doesnt care but i dont want to impose. im supposed to start work but it doesnt look to good now that i dont have my car. n that definetly sux really bad. n its not like i can get a hold of many people do to the fact that the fuckin bitch*my mom* has my cell phone. but once i get all the papers me n my grandparents gotta get my mom to sign them so i can finish school up there bc there is no way that im gonna be able to live in that house. but my babie doesnt have to worry bc i promised him that we will still be able to see eachother bc ill be able to spend the weekends at his house n when i get out of school i can drive down here to meet him when he gets after work. so we'll be able to get through it all. n then when im finished with school ill be able to spend even more time here. as for now if we cant get the papers right away im gonna be staying there n my grandparents will probably give me there truck to use for now. i love them so much for helping me. n to my babie we can get through it all.

        well me, mike, recker, and jen are going to internal to get my tongue pierced on monday n recker was talkin about getting a tattoo so that may happen. mike said he wanted one to but i dunno if hes getting it done yet or not.

          im at my grandparents house tonight n it definetly sucks really bad. im not really in such a good mood to do anything tonight. i was gonna hang out with my old friend nicole from up here but i dont really feel like it tonight. i miss mike so much. its different if im at home not hanging out with him from being here n not hanging out with him. its so far away i dont even really talk to him that much while im here n it sucks. if i was at home not talking to him that much its ok but when im this far away from him n not being able to see him i just wish we talked more. ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! this definetly totally sucks. i cant stand being without him. anyways i started getting stuff for valentines day today. n i got another valentine....   KELLI. i asked her to be  my valentine. n ofcourse she said yes. i really wish i was there tonight so i could see n talk to her.

             ITS SO FUCKIN BORING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow i just realized something. lastnight kelli was like when did u decide u were definetly going to with ur sister n i said when i was talkin to ur mom and all she had to say was make sure u dont go to any parties bc my mom will  probably call n see how things went n if u lie to her n go to a party she wont welcome u back. im not that stupid. way to have trust in me. that seriously makes me feel like she has no trust in what i say. wow that feels so great...not. i seriously need to work things out with my mom. im a senior i should be home with my family and enjoying my senior year but i just cant do that this year. i mean i know she didnt mean anything by it but the way she said it make me feel so shitty like she doesnt trust that im really going to see my mom. u know i have so much stress on me right now n it sucks. i dunno everything is just so hard on me right now i cant take it. because im so stressed out i've caused my relationship with mike to become stressed out n i hate it. maybe all i need to do is see mike bc when im with him all my stress floats away n i enjoy my time with him. so in a couple days probably sunday or monday ill be able to see him n get all my stress out n enjoy my time.